There seems to be a general moaning in the blogosphere this Valentine’s Day. It reeks of all the cool kids rebelled against the “holiday” many moons ago and now the general population is jumping on the band wagon. I’m cool with that. I’m more of the “meh” variety when it comes to Valentine’s but I get needing something to get snooty with and a sappy holiday is as good as any.
I confess I’ve never really gotten what the big deal is? I mean really it kinda just fills a slot in the calendar where too many Easter Eggs on the shelves would look a little silly so they go half-and-half, Valentines choccies down one side of the aisle and Easter eggs along the other. It’s cool, consumers need an oomph in the right direction for what to spend our spare (or not so spare) cash on and Valentine’s has a nice ring to it. Sometimes a little retail therapy really does give you a glow and drags you out of some serious down in the dumps winter-time blues.
I’ve discussed previously how completely un-romantic hubby and I are and to be honest it’s only in the past few years that we’ve had any spare cash when Valentine’s Day comes along.
Romance is all good and well but I appreciate the simple ways we show each other love:
- He shows me he loves me by calling before he leaves work, because he knows I worry that he’ll fall off his bike or get smooshed by a truck.
- I show him I love him by tidying in a flurry the rooms I know he’ll go to when he first get’s through the door (straightening the lounge, making sure the bathroom doesn’t look like a bomb hit it when he pops down for a shower), keeping a perfect house is impossible when you have three messy boys but a few clean areas can make all the difference to feeling comfy when you get home.
- He shows me he loves me with every day he goes to work, regardless of how miserable he’s been in certain jobs over the years…he’s always been working towards a better job, a better career and aiming for our family to be comfortable (finally reached that goal, so proud of him).
- I show him I love him by listening to every tale, every complaint, every job related misery he’s wanted to discuss over the years. Sometimes technical crap has been so boring I’ve wanted to gnaw my own leg off, but I listen because it’s a big part of his life and I want to share his whole life not just the really interesting bits.
- He shows me he loves me by spending time with our kiddo’s, even when he’s exhausted and would rather be a million miles from here.
- I show him I love him by being relaxed about him getting drinks with mates after work, going to poker or any other hobby he’s into this month. I know it’s important for him to unwind and I can’t be the only one he talks to. He needs man-time and as long as he calls me when he’s on his way home (or when midnight rolls around) so I know he’s still in the land of the living, I’m cool with it.
- He shows me he loves me by supporting any diet I’m really into this month/week…hour? When he surprises me with breakfast he checks if I’m on low-carb today and whips me something up that fits in with my diet.
- I show him I love him by baking regularly. I know he loves the smell of freshly baked goodies when he walks through the door and gobbling it up after dinner even better.
- We show each other our love by gently (and sometimes not so gently) telling each other when we’re being a bit of a shitty parent/spouse. Or cheating on our healthy eating plans an awful lot lately…or being a little unfair with family members or friends and taking things a little too personally…or a gentle, “you know you’ve had two glasses of wine every night this week? Maybe we should take a break?” when we notice little things like that.
- We show each other our love by supporting each other’s crazy hair brained ideas, talking through them and pulling out the possibilities from the impractical. We both know if there’s anything either of us really wants to do all we need to do is mention it to our better half and we’ll make it happen. Support, no matter what comes our way. I take time to process and blow up sometimes (I’m getting better, honest!) but once I’ve had a moment I try to stay open.
It’s the little things that mean the most. When you look back after 50 years of marriage I doubt you’ll remember every Valentine’s day dinner, bunch of flowers or box of chocolates. It’s the small things that add up to something wonderful. The things that strengthen your marriage, keep you together and help you grow as human beings and lovers.
What little things do you and your partner do for each other that you’ll look back on in years to come and feel loved? Making sure your partner always has emergency cash in their wallet? Does he always hold doors open for you even though its kinda gone out of fashion?