I really REALLY want to go home today.

I miss my Mum, I miss my Dad.  I miss knowing the area, knowing where to go to buy things, knowing how everything works.  I miss my cat.  I miss my car.  I miss having someone to talk to who actually likes me.  Having someone to talk to that doesn’t try and discount and disprove everything I say.  I miss the sunshine.  I miss proper rain (the kind that smells like rain and buckets town in torrents incessantly until suddenly it just STOPS).  I miss Woolworths chocolate mud cake, overpriced and probably crap but always available.  I miss having Maccas 5 minutes drive away from anyone I might be visiting and being sure to pass at least 2 on any drive home.  I miss having back up.  I miss crappy white bread that’s so packed full of preservatives that its always fluffy and soft and goes mouldly before it goes stale (how the hell do they manage that????).  I miss Australian accents.  I miss shitty browny green grass, the only kind that can survive our stupid climate.  I miss the yellow triangle road signs with a picture of a kangaroo.  I miss sloppy lazy Australians.

Knowing that doing things at the last minute is culturally okay and people won’t feel they need to *tsk* *tsk* and tell me, “Oh dear, you’ve left it awfully late haven’t you?”.

How am I supposed to respond to that pray tell?  Maybe I should go the Aussie route and tell them, “Fucking oath I have, I’m a fucking Australian….haven’t you heard?  We’re all decendents of dirty rotten convicts and we’re so shockingly barbaric that we don’t even plan our holidays 18 months in advance?  No I’m not joking….sometimes we even go to the beach on a whim the same day we felt the urge!?!  No I’m not fibbing.  I’m really fucking serious, and if I say fuck one more time maybe your jaw will drop so low you’ll be choking on cleavage?”.

I miss proper milo.  I miss Target’s cheap quality clothes.  I miss Just Cuts with their walk in policy and cheap kids hair cuts.

I’m sure it will pass.

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