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Vegemite


Thank goodness they sell it here!  I think I’d have suffered withdrawal symptoms of some sort by now and quite possibly have spiralled into a state of insanity.  Then begun trying to brew my own ghetto vegemite, gorged myself on it and then attempted to force feed it to my husband who would  then be a big baby and fearing some sort of severe stomach/digestive tract ailment would indeed deny my pleading for him to join me in my glorious ghetto vegemite escapades.  Leading me to then sneak it in with the spaghetti sauce and we’d probably both have dropped dead in a stinky cramped claustrophobic hotel room never to be heard from again.

So anyway…moving on.

Vegemite!

How long have they been selling it here for?

Do the english actually eat it?

Are there enough Aussies to support ASDA, Tesco and Sainsbury all stocking it if indeed the English think its a turdy version of Marmite and wouldn’t spread it on their morning toast if you paid them?

Do they sell it in the teensy tiny jars to exploit the Aussie expat’s?  Clearly we can’t survive without it….its like air, clean water and a darn public toilet when you need one.  Even if I was the only person in the house eating it I’d still need to buy two jars everytime I grocery shop to cover me for the week.  Occasionally I can find the slightly larger jar (225g’ish?) but still……stock some big jars!   My recycle boxy thing-a-mee is finding it difficult to keep up with the jars.

I did find Milo at Sainsbury a few weeks ago….very exciting!  Now if they’d just get in Tim Tams, Cherry Ripes and Nutri Grain I’d be set!  Then again, what incentive would I have to go home?  Family you say? pfft….family I miss, vegemite I couldn’t survive without!

The Milo I found isn’t quite right… It’s a bit…odd.  First of all, they’ve imported it from Kenya.  Now no offence to the Kenyans, BUT….your Milo sucks.  Just get our recipe, you’ll thank me later…I promise!  The Kenyan Milo is very sugary and a lot more “chocolate” flavoured.  The texture is more like crystallised sugar rather then the nice smooth dry texture of proper Milo.   It’s a weird experience I have to tell you.  It tastes enough like Milo to throw my taste buds for a loop but its just…wrong.  That’s the best way I can describe it really.  If I was 82 my taste buds would probably have desensitised enough for me to never know the difference.  Sadly my tongue’s only 25 odd years old and its screaming at me for an explanation.   Vanilla ice cream just isn’t the same without a dessert spoon’s worth of milo sprinkled on top, and when you crave a Milo an Oval-tine or a Hot Chocolate just will not cut it.

Those are my two biggies, Vege and Milo……….the rest I can live without.

Oh and for anyone who hasn’t visited the UK…..Australian fruit and veg is flavourless turd compared to the fresh produce here.  They must be driven insane moving to Oz to live.  Carrots are like carrot-flavoured mush back home compared to the carrotty carottness of a British carrot.  White potatoes I can practically boil, mash and serve without adding any more then a tiny bit of milk for smoothness.  Aussie spuds need some margarine and a bit of milk to put a bit of flavour back in after the boiling, the potatoes we’ve been eating are bursting with yumminess.

Oh and Strawberries!  Their strawberries actually look like the generic pictures of strawberries.  They have a bit of a pink blush to them and they have the perfect strawberry shape as opposed to Aussie strawberries which are always a little monged in shape.  Cantaloupe’s (rock-melon’s) taste orgasmic (an explosion of flavour), same with watermelon!  Apples can go either way…some taste like home, others are oddly delicious.

Yes food is the high point of my life…my biological imperative to consume bucket loads of food and store some lovely fat on my arse, thighs and stomach in case we face a famine and I need reserves.  For the record, I think my body may be preparing itself for some kind of natural disaster or possibly World War 3 because its going hard yakka on storing flubber on my gut.  Maybe it senses that this charming weather is indeed summer and we’re in for some freezy time like we’ve never experienced before.

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